Let's go back to our school days for a moment... You are standing with your friends in the hallway and you want to tell them that you are menstruating, but you don't know how. Ultimately, you say half-joking, half-serious that your aunt came to visit you from Poland. A maybe you repeat what you heard in the commercial and saythat you have "those days"? On PE class, you probably didn't say you had your period, but that you were "indisposed" today, right? It's a bit like a female code—everyone knows what it means, but no one knows how to say it out loud. So let's think about how to talk about periods without shame!
Let's start from the beginning: in our ancestors' beliefs, blood was considered impure. Depending on which part of the world a woman was born in, she faced a different form of stigmatization.
Some menstruating people were locked in separate rooms. In this way, the community was protected from negative energy. Others were forbidden to participate in religious rituals so as not to weaken the power of the ritual and bring misfortune. Still others were not allowed to touch food so it wouldn't spoil. There were also claims that menstruating people shouldn't be in the fields because crops would wither and vegetables would rot in their presence.
Contrary to appearances, these are among the milder superstitions. There were even peoples who believed that a man's contact with menstrual blood could cause his death.
Although no one (at least we hope so) still believes that menstrual blood ruins crops and weakens religious rituals, this shame is still present in our society. Many of us struggle to use the words "period" or "menstruation." Instead, we use euphemisms, which is precisely why we still have "those days of the month." We don't feel comfortable asking for help when experiencing severe pain, fearing we'll hear once again that "it's just part of being a woman."
Add to this a lack of medical knowledge and education, which reinforces fear. Even now, there are people who, upon seeing their first bleeding, worry that their life is coming to an end.
Using euphemisms stems, among other things, from the fact that for years men decided how female anatomy was spoken about. Furthermore, in the Polish language, terms regarding female physiology were embellished because it was considered improper to speak about them directly. Natalia Miłuńska, a cultural anthropologist, educator, and activist, mentions this in an interview for Wysokie Obcasy(High Heels): "Did you know that in the 1950s and 1960s, when people said 'those days,' the genitals were called 'the unmentionable lower parts'? Look at how powerful that phrase is, it directly shows what you are not allowed to pronounce. In medical language, there is the word 'srom' [vulva], which in Old Polish means shame, a ignominious defeat. And why 'srom' exactly? Because dirty blood flows from it, covering you in shame. Why does medicine keep serving us this word? Female doctors still use the phrase 'wargi sromowe' [labia], which translates to 'lips of shame.' We don't have words for menstruation, we don't have words for female body parts. And you have entire generations of girls saying 'pupka' ('bum') because their moms teach them they have a 'bum in the front and a bum in the back'.
Currently, we are dealing with a vicious circle: instead of speaking directly, we use words meant to soften the message, which in reality only magnify the shame. Because we feel shame, we don't want to speak directly, and the cycle continues.
Of course, it's not about going out onto a crowded street and shouting that you're menstruating. But as a society we must understand that menstruation is a natural bodily function, just like breathing. Therefore, we can, and should, talk about it directly. Think about whether feeling shame when talking about breathing sounds absurd. Why then should talking about menstruation be a taboo topic?
Next time you want to talk about your bleeding, try using the words: period, menstruation, cycle. Remember that the more often you speak openly about this topic and use these words, the easier it will become for you.
First and foremost, openly! You are in a relationship, so talking about matters that concern you both is natural. If you want to, say that you have your period or menstruation. Share your feelings with them, talk about how you feel both physically and mentally.
Say what you need. Whether it's a warm cup of tea, watching a movie together, or simply a moment of peace.
If you have a female partner, it will probably be easier since you both have similar experiences in this regard. However, it's still worth talking about how you feel during menstruation and what kind of support you'd like to count on during this time. Remember, even though we have similar experiences, we may need completely different kinds of support!
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